And where have you found yourself since? What have you been doing?

As a little kid, I was often rubbing people’s shoulders and walking on their backs. I have many memories of walking on my Dad’s back, hands, and feet. I remember it being fun to challenge my balance, but also to know that it felt good for him. While it’s hard to quantify reality in my kid memories, it feels like a lot my younger interactions were my Dad being exhausted after work and me walking on his back…so he could get back to work again…or nap and then get back to work…Come to think of it… I haven’t really had Skyler try walking on my back…

Skyler did recently get into playing with my cups for therapeutic cupping…mostly this is to entertain others by making me look like a Christmas tree and produce purple welts, if possible… we’ve done foot soaks together, however, I have yet to convince him to massage my feet. hehe… Maybe some day. When he was a baby, he really wasn’t interested in touch, movement, bouncing, kicking, always moving, yes, but he was easily overstimulated by touch or confinement and has grown to like massage more the older he gets. Now he requests massage.

Massage is something, I’ve always known I was good at. So, it didn’t seem like such a scary idea when considering careers…a lower likelihood of failure, in my mind. A way to help people feel better in their bodies, and make the world a better place, one body, one person at a time. I still remember the very first time I laid my hands on someone in massage school all those years ago…and in that moment, I knew. I was exactly where I was supposed to be. And boy have I been blessed to have this as a profession for more than 20yrs helping people through recovery from surgeries, recovery from addiction to pain meds, helping people reconnect with their bodies, helping people quiet their minds and destress…and helping them to unwind from the stresses of everyday life to ready themselves for their Costa Rican vacation…. Pura Vida. So much gratitude.

I also loved to write.

Love to write.
This has always, and continues to be a great way for me to find my clarity, to check-in with myself, process my thoughts, and connect with others.

When I am attempting to reestablish good routines, my days start and end with journaling. However, single motherhood has made routines super challenging. Anyone else?

It seems Every… Single… Day… life has other plans. And that’s parenting. Or at least as I’ve experienced these last several years single-momming. Perhaps life is less predictable in the land of ‘Pura Vida’…. however, I can only live one life at a time, so I cannot compare living in one place or another in the exact same moment.

However, to be clear. He’s the best kid for me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

(Attempted to put in a photo of us here….and it doesn’t seem to let me)…

I am grateful for this bubble in which I’ve been blessed to raise my kiddo in. He’s a great kid, a great human. He’s funny, empathetic, kind, smart, strategic…a professional negotiator…sometimes it feels like he’s growing up so fast…and other times I realize he’s still a little kid, and you never turn off motherhood, once that switch in you is flipped, you are a new version of yourself, I don’t think it’s possible to go backwards to who you were before, you are forever changed. Would you even want to?

Lately, we’ve been discussing fears. The last two nights my little one’s fear of the dark has reemerged and even though he has a night light, it just wasn’t enough. A good friend of mine had talked about her fear of heights, so Skyler was comparing his fear of the dark – to her fear of heights, and how the fear can be there even if it’s not rational. Even if there is no way of falling…Even if there is nothing out there in the dark and we have a gate and fenced-in yard, and we are very safe…. Mom’s bed seemed like the only safe haven for a restful sleep….and then somehow the dog mistook his restlessness and relocation to mom’s room as…it’s time to wake up and play…. which led to the cats and dog play-fighting and parkouring all over the place. To which they did not accept my redirection that my bedroom was not the place for such activity at night… Picture chaotic cartoon scene… with circles and symbols drawn to indicate a real brawl.

So…it’s fair to say that I haven’t given writing the consistent attention that my yearning has requested throughout the years.

There was, for a time….in the 5th Grade when I was convinced that life as an archaeologist would be a sweet life adventure.

It had to do with living in an old farmhouse and making an exciting discovery, one day. And then I was hooked, digging up my backyard. What were your childhood whispers? What did you want to do? Be ?
I still feel archeology would surely lead to an adventurous life…however, I also discovered it’s recommended you get your PhD first…which did not call to me. I do recall my 5th-grade teacher… Shout out to Mrs. Lightstone, who I adored; strongly expressed that I should seriously consider a career in writing…and not archeology. Although, I do love a good treasure hunt..it’s never struck me as missing something that I didn’t become an archeologist. I’ve never even met an archeologist. Have you? I Do however want to visit the public diamond mine in Arkansas. Have you ever been there?

In the 5th grade… I used to love to write stories that I read to the rest of the class. I loved to read with enthusiasm, and my class was an actively engaged audience. It has always been a dream of mine to create a book. Which, I have done, technically. A children’s book, with a few more in progress… still tweaking some of the graphics. Have yet to publish though and, I feel like once I start, I’ll want to keep going. I heard it questioned that if William Shakespeare had access to a typewriter or a computer, would it have changed the quality or quantity of his work? What about if he had access to AI? Would he have still written the great works that he did? Or would he have filled in the gaps with AI, making it less outstanding for it’s time? With the emergence of AI where will writing go? Will our AI write and read for us? what about those who actively enjoy writing and reading?

Unfortunately, I have found it can be hard to prioritize these childhood whispers, that present themselves as quiet adult desires, THAT BECOME LOUDER… perhaps it’s also around this time in motherhood when your kids are becoming more independent… around 10-11yrs old or younger that you suddenly crave even more to work on yourself in all the ways? I’ve been in several plays in my town. This for me also feeds my soul. More and more, I feel a desire to be expressive, which has also manifested as art, my younger self was quite critical at any attempts at learning art…with age and wisdom, comes throwing paint on a canvas and having fun creating. Making it a judgement-free space.

For me, I often feel like there are so many things, people, animals, that require my time and attention, and some of which I love that I can…I think this also comes from my work as a recruiter, that I receive an enormous outreach of those looking for work, and I wish I could help everyone….every single person find the job of their dreams, that inspires them, appreciates them, compensates them and gives them room and support to grow…however, I can’t help everyone. And that can be a challenge for me. I want to help everyone. Every day I ask people. ‘What they love about what they do’? ‘What are they passionate about’? Those moments when you lose track of time because you are so engrossed in what you are doing? what are you doing when you lose track of time?
My clients are looking for that spark in candidates. For people that won’t get frustrated as easily, they still love what they do and continue on with resilience…sometimes the people I speak with, want to do something totally different. They’ve been in sales, but really they like working with wood, creating things with their hands, or they want to go off on their own. More and more, I’m finding people want their time back, they are asking about flexible scheduling and part-time gigs or they want to consult so they can do it part-time…more and more, I find people burned out by it all…looking for a reset.
I see it more on people’s resumes that people took a break to travel or care for family, and some companies still criticize this, but I do hope taking a reset becomes more and more accepted and even encouraged. Because stress takes it’s toll in ways we don’t even fully see…sometimes until it’s too late.

I think these whispers, listening and following them can help recharge ourselves when we are near burn-out. I also totally get that not everyone is in a space where they are free to explore these things and some are just surviving. Honestly, I would love to be able to see how people would explore and experience life if they weren’t worried about making ends meet.

I know some people feel that having provided basic income would make people lazy…but I wonder if it would also inspire people to listen to whispers and follow passions, to work on themselves, do more for others, their community, if people would be more encouraged to help make the world a better place. If they would have time and bandwidth to lean into helping enhance their environment and local community.

I speak to a lot of people that are tired, whether it’s from prolonged jobseeking or from climbing a ladder and putting in more and more time into their career, and while there’s nothing wrong with that…how would the world evolve if you, your neighbors, friends and family, weren’t worried about finances and also had time?

Years ago, I traveled to Germany and while visiting a park I noticed it being filled with Dad’s and their kids…and I noticed the Dads were super hands-on and attentive, you could tell they had strong bonds with their kids. I was told that this was a big change in more recent generations since there was now significant Paternity and Maternity time (yes, I know this has now been in place for many years). Previous generations there was a big disconnect from fathers being actively involved in their kids lives. What an incredible contribution to the future to empower families to create healthier relationships with their children!?! Did you have maternity or paternity time? How do you feel it changed or could have changed your life, your child’s life? Or would you have preferred to be working?

If you’ve made it this far…thank you for your time. This post felt a bit rambly when typing it, hopefully, as I write more, more clarity will come through, but for now, it feels good to be back at it. Wishing you peace, joy, and flow.